Update: Passion/Lions/African Church

PASSION:

The other night, I had the greatest time with God. Through this trip, I have felt my passion for God slowly decreasing. We have church on Thursday nights, and on Thursday, the director of Thrive, Neil, spoke about the devil taking advantage of us when we are weak, and trying to separate people from the church and make them feel alone. Once they are alone, then they are weak and easy to devour. I just felt like I was the one who was about to be devoured. I couldn't feel God at all.

We went to a hospital on Friday and I didn't feel any emotion. I didn't feel happiness or sadness or relief. I just had no emotions. I felt dead inside, like the Holy Spirit was far from me. Throughout the time that I was been sick, I did not stop praising God, because I know that he brought me to Africa for a reason. I sang over and over again, Father I Adore You and Jesus Lover of My Soul. When I felt the worst, I would just sing. I think that's what helped get me through.

Also, Friday night I found out that this next week, I'll be leading the first missions team for the summer. I was so scared because I felt so incompetent while I myself was out ministering. When I would pray, I did not have any words to say. I didn't even have an idea of what to pray for. I just felt clueless in my prayer life. That night I knew that I had to pray and I did know what I needed to pray for. I just prayed that the Spirit would fill me and that I would desire God like I have before. I prayed the song that says,

"Draw me close to you, never let me go, I lay it all down again,
to hear you say that I'm your friend. Help me find a way, bring me
back to you. You're all I want. You're all I've ever needed. You're all I
want. Help me know you are near."

I wanted to be close to God again and be able to feel him. I was assigned to welcome the team when they came in on Friday night around 1AM. I just stayed up and journaled until we went out to meet them. Before they arrived, we all gathered together and prayed. We prayed African style, which is where everyone just prays all at once, and when it dies down, the last person praying closes for everyone. I ended up being the last one because I had so much to pray for. Finally, I knew what needed to be said and asked for. I felt so strongly that God was there with us and I was so excited when the team came. I am now really excited for ministry with them next week. I went back into my cabin and prayed and prayed and was able to stay focused. I felt like God was providing me with the things to pray for. I didn't have to think of fancy words to say, or any words for that matter, I just prayed and I knew that God was there with me. It's
a work in progress, within my heart but I just felt a very strong presence of God.

LIONS:

Anyway, that's about all for that, but yesterday was pretty exciting as well. I got to pet lions and found some tigers in Africa. We went on a game drive to see different African animals. We
also stayed for the lions' feeding time, which was a bit disgusting, watching the lions tear apart an entire cow. That was a bit much. I got some great pics of the tigers and lions though. I got about 1 foot away from the lion. Yes it was caged, but still, you can't get that close in the zoo!

AFRICAN CHURCH:

As for today, I got the chance to go to African church. There was a lot of singing and praising God. Every other word was a Hallelujah or Amen. When presenting a person or offering or when welcoming, there was always music. They would sing for about 5 minutes and then move on to an introduction and then sing for 10 more minutes. Neil was a guest speaker. He had some really amazing things to say today too. Most of what he said was talking about how everything that we have should be used to further the kingdom of God. He gave away his tie to a man in the church because he said that it was blessing the other man and by wearing the tie, it was blessing no one. But when he gave it away, he was able to share God's blessing and further his kingdom. He also talked about rejoicing in everything. We do not need to be worried about anything: not presidents, or money, or our cars. We only need to rejoice, because if we rejoice, then God will see that and bless us. Lastly, he talked about complaining. The biggest thing that stuck out to me was when he said that God does not come to be with us to hear us complain. He comes for his glory and praise and rejoicing and love. Neil is a smart man, and I am lucky to be able to learn from him.