The Journey of God's Call

A Story of Passion

2008-07-23T11:50:00.001-07:00

Where do I start?

Yesterday began just like the last time I met a Sangoma. We went to a lot of houses, and no one was home. The last house left to revisit was the house of Lucky, the Sangoma. I had never been there before, but Joe and Christina had, so we decided to go back. Lucky and his mother who is also a Sangoma were busy in their workshop, so they told us to come back in 30 min. We took that 30 minutes to meditate and pray in the middle of a run down basketball court. Allen read Psalm 23 and Joe prayed the Armor of God from Ephesians 6. I felt like God was telling us that we should go into the situation without any expectations or assumptions about these people. We knew they were Sangomas but we didn't want to seem ignorant. Also, I felt that in everything, we needed to have love. Before we started preaching, we needed to love these people above all else. Finally, we prayed for protection as we willingly entered into a situation where the devil was welcomed.

We walked back to the house and when we walked in, we sat alone for a few minutes before anyone came to talk to us. Finally, Lucky came and sat down with us. Joe and Christina had never met him before. They talked with his father last time they were at this house. We started out asking questions about his family, but that didn't last long. It was obvious that he was a Sangoma because his hair was beaded with red and white beads. He had a chicken feather on the back of his head, and his arms held many bracelets, all signifying that he was a witchdoctor. Joe commented on his hair. "What are the beads in your hair for?" He laughed. "Is it because you're a Sangoma?" Yes. "What do they mean? Do they have any significance." He laughed again. Yes. They were in his hair because he had a dream that he should put them in his hair. According to his story, his ancestors told him how to put the beads in his hair. So he did. He became a Sangoma. "What are those necklaces for?" Oh. I bought this in Durban because I liked it. "What about the other one?" He laughed. Oh! This one is a for healing myself. (It had a bottle on it.) But only myself. It could not heal you. It could only heal me.

We went on for a while asking him about being a Sangoma. We asked him if he prayed to his ancestors. He said no. He said that he only asked them to ask things from God. We told him that in 1 Timothy it says that Jesus is the only Mediator between us and God and that by telling his ancestors to say things to God, it was like putting them at the same level as Jesus. He was upset. He said that he was not putting his ancestors at the same level because they would talk to Jesus and then Jesus would talk to God. Joe was a little blunt when saying, "Do you believe that your power is from God or the devil?" Obviously, he thought it was from God. This made me a little uneasy. I could see that he was feeling attacked. I tried to lighten the mood by asking him about his previous job at Nandos which is a restaurant in town, which I believe is similar to Red Robin. He said that he loved his job at Nandos.

After that, we shared Bible verses with him about ancestral worship and he was silent. Then he asked us to repeat. I think he was starting to understand. There was a seed planted, but he was still hurting inside. Somehow we got onto the topic of other Sangomas. We asked if he had ever known a Sangoma that stopped being a Sangoma. He said that he had heard of them and they died. "Have they all died?" No. Only some. "Are you afraid of dying?" Yes. I don't want to die. "I don't think I would like being a Sangoma because it sounds scary." I asked him if he found joy in being a Sangoma. Yes. He enjoyed it. Then we started talking about friends. He said that he used to hang out with his friends all the time but that when he became a Sangoma they all stopped being friends with him. He said that he didn't want friends anyway because they all disappointed him. I could tell that he was scared and hurting. We asked if we could pray for him, and so we did. I prayed that he would be able to desire God and come out of the sin that he was in. I prayed that he would find a friend who would not disappoint him.

All the while, I could feel the spiritual warfare. My eyes hurt and he kept rubbing his eyes too. Whenever his sister would walk into the room, I felt a greater presence of evil. She was not a witchdoctor, but she lived in a house full of them, and yet she did not look well. She looked tired and sick and hopeless. She looked like walking death. I remembered to pray for protection while we were there. I think that was important.

As we were walking out, Lucky walked us to the gate, and I told him that I would continue to pray that he finds a friend who does not disappoint him. He said he would pray that I would become a Sangoma. I told him that wasn't necessary and that I didn't want to be a Sangoma because that would be too scary. Pray for me, for I know that prayer to the wrong powers is still powerful.

We walked away and everyone was saying how great it was that we accomplished so much in the name of Jesus. I didn't feel that way at all. I tried to explain how much I could feel his pain about not having any friends. I could see that he was sad and hurting and scared. I felt so strongly that I have a treasure that he could have too. A great treasure that could take away the pain and yet he was not ready to have it. I felt God's jealousy for him. I felt like God wanted him so badly. Deja vu? It was the same feelings that I had for the last Sangoma, only greater. I felt God's desire for him. I felt the burden of wanting him to come to know God in a way that would free him and show him a life of joy. I felt such a strong passion for him just like last time. I tried to explain this all to them, but one of them said that he thought Lucky was only joking when he talked about his friends. I don't think he was. I think, even if not fully, there was some validity to what was said, and it broke my heart. I tried to explain how I was feeling about Lucky, but I couldn't get very far before I broke into tears and was unable to speak. The whole walk back to the church for lunch, I cried. It's so hard to explain to you how much I felt for this man. My friend Christina told me that it was good that I felt this passion for him because maybe God needed me to keep praying for him. It was an emotional day, but it was good. I felt God's love and passion for this man and that is a gift that I will truly treasure in my heart for the rest of my life.

Highlights & Passion

2008-07-19T06:35:00.000-07:00

Here are a few highlights of this past week:

- I learned how to do laundry, Basotho style. They think it's funny that we use machines for everything because machines don't do a very good job of cleaning.

- I was offered to come back to a house next week for a meal of mealy-pop (kind of like gritz) and some type of meat which we soon found out consisted of intestines. We set the date for Monday.

- One of the teams that is here, prayed over a man who was demon possessed. He kept saying over and over "Your power is no good." They could literally feel the spiritual warfare and kept praying and praying. Finally this man who had had a stroke and could not speak very well was speaking clearly and saying "Your power is so good!" and was telling people about how he was healed. It was like a modern day Bible story.

- My ministry group taught some young adults how to do the hokey-pokey and the electric slide. They then taught us some clapping games and a traditional dance. We danced for most of the afternoon, then teaching them how to do the "shopping cart," "sprinkler," and swing dancing.

- We got the opportunity to talk with people about worshiping their ancestors. I was late for lunch for the first time out on ministry because we couldn't stop talking to these people about Jesus. It was a wonderful morning and we went back in the afternoon to spend more time with them.

- Last night, we had a swing dancing party, and I learned to dance and learned some really cool moves. It was so much fun and I think I'm a little bit addicted to dancing now.

- I've gone running almost every day after ministry since last Thursday at an altitude of 6,000 ft above sea level. It feels so good to get in shape!

- I've realized my passion for going to college and discipling people. I have a new passion for working with youth. I feel like it is my calling to disciple youth. This is an amazing thing because I have not felt passionate about something or like God has been calling me to dedicate my life to something since I have given my life to him. I really can't wait to see what else he will reveal to me and what will come out of these things that I know he wants me to dedicate my life to. When I left for South Africa, I was thinking about studying Literature and International Relations. Oh how much things have changed! I am so excited to come home and live out what God has been showing me!

It's been a good week! Thank you all for your prayers!

Thank You Supporters

2008-07-17T02:10:00.001-07:00

Dear Supporters,

I would like to thank all of you for contirbuting to help me fundraise all the money needed for this summer. As of yesterday, God provided all of the money needed for my summer here in South Africa. On the records, it showed that I needed $890 more to reach the full $3850. I got an email yesterday from the church telling me that they sent a check for $899.75. Praise God for his faithfulness! I want to thank you all for your continued prayers and for all of your support! I love you all and I treasure everything that you have done for me. May God truly bless each of you for what you have done to support God's work in my life here in South Africa.

Much love from South Africa,

Hannah Ruth

The Sangoma

2008-07-12T03:35:00.000-07:00

On Friday, July 4th, I had the opportunity to spend one more day ministering in Qwa Qwa, South Africa with a group of teens, that I was able to lead, from Fall Church, Virginia. Here is the account of that day that I wrote in my journal:

"Our interpreter, Abram Moloi, who had been with us all week, was not able to come out today because he was helping out at Thrive's Leadership Day. We had to wait a while once we got into Qwa Qwa for another interpreter to arrive. Since we had to wait, we finally decided that we would just begin to pray before we went out. Prayer was good and it made me ready for the day. Soon after, our interpreter, Timby, arrived and we started to head out. We didn't really know where to go because we'd already gone to other houses a lot and we didn't feel that we were supposed to go back again. We decided we would try going to a house that we spent some time at only the day before. When we got there, there was no one home and the door was locked. We kind of just stood around for a couple minutes trying to decide what to do. Nothing made sense but to go to a new house. Even that didn't really make sense since we wouldn't have a lot of time to disciple anyone else on our last day. We thought that it would be hard to get into a deep conversation with someone in only a few hours. Lauren, one of my teammates, said that we should just talk about more cultural things, like what they watch on TV, rather that get into a deep conversation. We walked across the street into a yard where there was a tin shack. We didn't really know what we were doing, but walked up casually, not expecting anything. As we walked into this yard which held a tin shack, we bickered about whose turn it was to introduce our group. It didn't really matter when we got to the door, because Timby talked with the woman inside before we were even able to see who was there. They talked for a while, longer than usual, and we were invited in without even having to introduce ourselves. As I walked in, I immediately smelled incense and knew that there was something different about the woman that lived in this shack.

Sorry to stop so abruptly, but I remembered something else that is vital to this story and showing how awesome our God is.

While the group was walking to the area that we would minister in, Lauren and I were talking about how some people from her church had ministered to a man who lived next door to a witchdoctor, and they had been really scared. They were in the house next door, and they were scared. That's interesting to note. We also talked about how we had never ministered/discipled anyone who was not a Christian. A lot of people are from ZCC (Zion Christian Church) which is a church that believes that it's ok to worship ancestors.) ZCC is very poplular, and yet we had never met anyone that attended that church. Ok, back to the story.

When we walked into the house, with the smell of incense very evident, it was obvious that she was very poor. There were newspaper ads to cover up the tin walls and she had only a small table, camp stove, and two small chairs for seating. I sat on the floor. We introduced ourselves, and then it was just quiet. It was awkwardly quiet, even quiet for South Africa. I think the girls were a bit intimidated, so I spoke up. I asked her what kinds of things she liked to do. Most Basotho people will say that they just rest or they like to clean. This woman was different. She talked for a very long time. Finally the interpreter said that this woman liked working with her hands and doing medical treatments because she was a Sangoma, a traditional healer, a witchdoctor. We asked a lot of questions about her being a Sangoma and she was very open about it. She told us the story of how she became a Sangoma. She had a dream that she was wearing a dress (she pointed to the dress), and told us that it was the dress that they wear when they do specific types of healing. She said that's when she knew that she needed to be a healer. She told us why she wanted to be a Sangoma too. She said that before she became a healer, she went to a Pentecostal church and she was born again. She loved going to church and worshipping God. She became really sick and all the churches that she went to could not heal her. She became a Sangoma so that she could heal herself. After she healed herself, she wanted to go back to church, but her culture was stopping her. According to Basotho culture, when someone like her wants to go back to the church, they have to slaughter a cow and wash their hair in a special way. She was a very poor woman and it was easy to see that she could not afford to buy a cow to be slaughtered. She stayed a Sangoma because she could not slaughter a cow.

One of us asked her a question, but she didn't answer. Instead she said that she noticed that we had Bibles and she wanted to know about that. It took me a while to understand that this woman didn't even know what is in the Bible. I told her that the Bible is God's story of how he created the world and saved it through a big sacrifice. Right away, she said that before we left she wanted us to pray for her. Also, she was very eager and attentive to listening about the Bible. When we heard that she wanted to be born again but thought that she couldn't because of her culture, we tried desperately to try to explain how God's love is so unconditional and we can't do anything to earn it. Anna, one of the girls in my group, brought up the story of the prodigal son. She explained how God is like the father. She said that the boy was ready to work for his father like a servant, but the father, God, didn't want him to do that. The father welcomed his son home and had a party for him. We also tried to stress that what God wants is sometime different from what our culture tells us is good. We told her how our culture says that it's ok to have sex before marriage, but that God says that that is wrong. Also, our culture says that if you are rich, then you will be happy, but in the Bible Jesus says the poor will be happy, and he spent all of his time with poor people. We told her that we don't listen to what our culture says because God says differently and we know that God knows what's best. We told her about how God has the power to heal and all we have to do is have faith to be healed. I shared the story about the woman who touched Jesus' cloak and she was healed by her faith.

Finally, we gave her a card for Pastor Foto's church. She said she would be so happy to attend once she got a cow. I told her again that the people at the church would love and accept her no matter what because they have Jesus' love. We then prayed for her and prayed for her salvation. We prayed for her desire to know God to grow, and for her to understand that Jesus' love is free. I cried when we prayed for her. We left her with 1Corinthians 13 to encourage her.

When we left, Timby said that we did well in explaining things to this woman. She said that the things we said were all good. Timby also told us that a lot of Sangomas don't like to talk to Christians, and when they see people who are Christians, they know who they are. There is no confusion. She knew who we were, and she invited us in to her house without an introduction. We didn't even have time to talk about TV because we were too busy talking about Jesus. We asked this woman if she knew more about God or Jesus and she said mostly just God. We told her about the character of Jesus and how he heals and loves and spends time with poor people. My heart went out to this woman. I could feel God's desire for her. It was the strangest feeling of passion for her. I desired to love and let God consume her. I know that the Spirit was there with me. I had such great passion for her. God's desire for her was so great and I now know what it feels like when God desires someone, because I felt it that day. It was just good."

God was in that situation and I know that he will continue to work in that woman's heart. She has such a great desire to know who God is and it is my prayer for her that she is able to quickly find Him and be freed from the sin she is living in. Please join with me in continual prayer for the Sangoma.

I have more stories of how God worked on July 4, but I'll update about that later.

What is it like in Africa?

2008-06-29T05:52:00.000-07:00

I realized that I have not posted much about life here in Africa. First of all, they were not lying when they said that it was cold. It is much like the early spring or late winter of Edmonds. It's freezing at night and normal Washington spring weather during the day. When in the sun, the sun is hot, but when the sun goes down, you could never imagine Africa to be so cold!

During the week, breakfast is at 8:00 and we leave for ministry in Qwaqwa or Intabazwe at 9:00. Qwaqwa is about an hour drive. When we get there, we go with our translator to houses and tell people that we are on a Life Exchange and wanting to learn about their life and see if we can help with any chores. I have not had the opportunity to help with many chores, but have mostly been sitting and talking with people. At 1:00 we regroup for a packed lunch which is usually peanut butter and jelly. We then go back out for 2 more hours at 2:00. Then we head back the Thrive. Sometimes we stop in Harrismith (Harry-smith) at the grocery store which is about 1/2 way home. Dinner is at 6:00 and afterwards, we have free time when we can check email, watch movies, hang out, or have parties (we just had a birthday party for my friend Marc last week).

Starting next week, we will have other jobs like base crew, coffee bar/curio, discipleship ministry, and working with the team from Falls Church. The job of base crew is to do chores and clean up around the base. Coffee bar/curio is working at a little souvenir/snack shack which is upstairs in the living room. Curio means curious or can be short for souvenir. Discipleship is the ministry that we do with other outreach staff members. It's the ministry that I did last week in Qwaqwa. When we work with the teams, we do the same thing as discipleship, except I am the leader and I do not participate as much as I watch and direct them in their ministry.

On Wednesday mornings we have African prayer, which is very cool. We have a little bit of worship and then Neil says a few words, and then we just pray. Like I said before, with African prayer, everyone just prays at once. On Thursday nights, like I have mentioned in previous posts, we have church. I love church! Neil is a great speaker and we're all pretty close. It's just the few staff members and 24/7 interns and my groups, the outreach staff members. Sunday afternoons the 24/7 and outreach interns get together to play Ultimate Frisbee. It's just like home! On Sunday nights we have a bible study for just the outreach staff members, lead by full time staff members. It's called Connect. My leader's name is Kelly, and she is so sweet! I love it!
The weekends are pretty relaxed. Sometimes we will go to African church on Sunday mornings, but otherwise we have them free. Sometimes on Saturdays we will go out and do scheduled activities that are more touristy, like yesterday when we went to the "Lion Park."

Last year, one of the buildings burned. It was the building that was the main meeting area and hang out spot. Since it's no longer available, our "house" is all spread out. We have our bedrooms, our cabins, which are "downstairs." Really, they're down the hill, and that's what we call downstairs. Also downstairs is the phone booth and the reception area which has a smaller room in it which is called the den. In the den we have our outreach meetings and hangout. The couches are in the den, so we like to watch movies in there and just hang out because it's one of the warmest places to be. (There's no indoor heating anywhere, except for the small heaters that we have.) There's also wireless internet down there. The laundry room is somewhere in the middle of them, just at the foot of the hill, and is also next the hooks where the game is prepared to be eaten. Yes, I have actually seen some game hanging, which is why I am a little skeptical about eating meat. I might just be a vegetarian while in Africa. To get upstairs we have to walk this wretched hill which looks like a hill in Edmonds. One of the girls refers to it as "The 45" because it's nearly a 45 degree angle. After walking on that hill, you finally get upstairs to the living room. The outreach staff eats all of their meals in the living room and uses it as a hang out spot as well. There is also wireless internet, and the computer that I am typing on. Coffee bar/curio is up here as well. The teams are allowed to use the living room and go to the coffee bar after 7:00 but we're allowed up here anytime.

Behind the living room, there are classrooms that are used for discipleship classes, and behind them are the three mountains: Moyhook, Everest, and Eagle Mountain. I climbed Mt. Everest last Sunday, and it took about an hour. Moyhook supposedly takes about 4 hours, unless you're new here and then it will take about 6. The reason is because of the elevation. Thrive is about 6,000 ft. about sea level. The mountains are another 1,000 ft. up. Climbing is very difficult and you have to take a lot of breaks to catch your breath. Walking is exhausting because it's so hard to breath. The scenery here is beautiful. A lot of it looks dead, but that's understandable since it's the winter season. Winter is the dry season in Africa. In the summer there are wildflowers everywhere, or so I've been told. The sky is beautiful. I have fallen in love with the bright blue and the depth of the clouds. Also, the starry sky is magnificent. I have never seen so many stars out, except maybe when I was in Montana. There are a lot of animals here. Most of them are types of antelope/deer but with different coloring. There are also wildebeest which are pretty dumb and don't do much. Yes, there are zebras and ostriches in South Africa, however there aren't any ostriches on the Thrive base. I have seen them many times, and the excitement in seeing them isn't really there anymore. It's kind of weird, but I've grown quite accustomed to seeing zebras now. They're just a part of Africa and it's so normal to me now.

The food here is all South African. I haven't had much food that is at all American. Most mornings we eat oatmeal, which is different from American oatmeal, or mealy-pop (kind of like Cream of Wheat). They put cinnamon sugar in both of them. Also, we have bread with every meal. There is always toast or bread or bagels. Sometimes we have eggs and bacon but they have an African twist to them. For lunch, we usually have sandwiches since we're always out on ministry, but sometimes we have pasta and salad. Dinner is the most African meal of the day. We have some type of meat, usually rice, and some type of cooked vegetables. Some of the veggies are cooked carrots, squash, sweet potatoes (they look really dark brown), and spinach. Some of the meat that we eat comes from the base. I've definitely eaten wildebeest, blesbuck (a type of deer), and cattle that came from the base. It comes in all forms, including: meatballs, with pasta, and sometimes just cut up meat. I'm actually getting really tired of the food. I miss American food so much! This food just doesn't seem appealing to me anymore and sometimes makes me feel sick to my stomach. It's only been two weeks! Pray for me and my stomach, that we'll be able to survive the next 5 weeks of strange food.

If I remember anything else, I'll try to post it, or if you guys have any questions feel free to ask. I'm going to go enjoy my Sunday afternoon watching some Ultimate Frisbee and reading, as you guys are probably sleeping in before church. I think it's only 6:30 AM back home. :]

I love and miss you all!
(PS I'm starting to feel a little homesick, I think. Last night I woke up a few times and was wondering where I was because I really thought that I was still at home. And I just miss you guys back home.)

Update: Passion/Lions/African Church

2008-06-29T05:34:00.000-07:00

PASSION:

The other night, I had the greatest time with God. Through this trip, I have felt my passion for God slowly decreasing. We have church on Thursday nights, and on Thursday, the director of Thrive, Neil, spoke about the devil taking advantage of us when we are weak, and trying to separate people from the church and make them feel alone. Once they are alone, then they are weak and easy to devour. I just felt like I was the one who was about to be devoured. I couldn't feel God at all.

We went to a hospital on Friday and I didn't feel any emotion. I didn't feel happiness or sadness or relief. I just had no emotions. I felt dead inside, like the Holy Spirit was far from me. Throughout the time that I was been sick, I did not stop praising God, because I know that he brought me to Africa for a reason. I sang over and over again, Father I Adore You and Jesus Lover of My Soul. When I felt the worst, I would just sing. I think that's what helped get me through.

Also, Friday night I found out that this next week, I'll be leading the first missions team for the summer. I was so scared because I felt so incompetent while I myself was out ministering. When I would pray, I did not have any words to say. I didn't even have an idea of what to pray for. I just felt clueless in my prayer life. That night I knew that I had to pray and I did know what I needed to pray for. I just prayed that the Spirit would fill me and that I would desire God like I have before. I prayed the song that says,

"Draw me close to you, never let me go, I lay it all down again,
to hear you say that I'm your friend. Help me find a way, bring me
back to you. You're all I want. You're all I've ever needed. You're all I
want. Help me know you are near."

I wanted to be close to God again and be able to feel him. I was assigned to welcome the team when they came in on Friday night around 1AM. I just stayed up and journaled until we went out to meet them. Before they arrived, we all gathered together and prayed. We prayed African style, which is where everyone just prays all at once, and when it dies down, the last person praying closes for everyone. I ended up being the last one because I had so much to pray for. Finally, I knew what needed to be said and asked for. I felt so strongly that God was there with us and I was so excited when the team came. I am now really excited for ministry with them next week. I went back into my cabin and prayed and prayed and was able to stay focused. I felt like God was providing me with the things to pray for. I didn't have to think of fancy words to say, or any words for that matter, I just prayed and I knew that God was there with me. It's
a work in progress, within my heart but I just felt a very strong presence of God.

LIONS:

Anyway, that's about all for that, but yesterday was pretty exciting as well. I got to pet lions and found some tigers in Africa. We went on a game drive to see different African animals. We
also stayed for the lions' feeding time, which was a bit disgusting, watching the lions tear apart an entire cow. That was a bit much. I got some great pics of the tigers and lions though. I got about 1 foot away from the lion. Yes it was caged, but still, you can't get that close in the zoo!

AFRICAN CHURCH:

As for today, I got the chance to go to African church. There was a lot of singing and praising God. Every other word was a Hallelujah or Amen. When presenting a person or offering or when welcoming, there was always music. They would sing for about 5 minutes and then move on to an introduction and then sing for 10 more minutes. Neil was a guest speaker. He had some really amazing things to say today too. Most of what he said was talking about how everything that we have should be used to further the kingdom of God. He gave away his tie to a man in the church because he said that it was blessing the other man and by wearing the tie, it was blessing no one. But when he gave it away, he was able to share God's blessing and further his kingdom. He also talked about rejoicing in everything. We do not need to be worried about anything: not presidents, or money, or our cars. We only need to rejoice, because if we rejoice, then God will see that and bless us. Lastly, he talked about complaining. The biggest thing that stuck out to me was when he said that God does not come to be with us to hear us complain. He comes for his glory and praise and rejoicing and love. Neil is a smart man, and I am lucky to be able to learn from him.

Feeling Sick

2008-06-26T18:35:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday, I was not able to eat a lot because I just felt really sick to my stomach. The morning when I tried walking, I felt really dizzy and I felt disoriented for a few seconds, and I nearly fell over but one of my teammates was there to catch my fall. I went to the doctor that day
and they said that the lining in my stomach could be inflamed, whatever that means, and that I was dizzy because of low blood pressure which was probably just because my blood wasn't circulating
very well since I was sick. The doctor was very nice. They gave me medicine to take which didn't really help, and I had to skip out on 2 days of ministry. Fortunately, on Friday, I was feeling a little better and was able to go out on ministry to a hospital in Qwaqwa.

My First Ministry Experience

2008-06-23T11:58:00.000-07:00

Makong Baptist Church, Qwaqwa, South Africa...

Today was the first day that we went out into Qwaqwa to do relationship evangelism. Honestly, it wasn't too bad when we were out ministering to the people. I thought that I would have been a lot more nervous than I really was. The first house we went to put us in a little bit of an awkward situation. There was a mom who was looking after a few children, one of which was only about a year old and would not stop crying. She said that it was because the baby was scared of us because it had never seen Americans before. We left after a little while since it was impossible to minister with the constant distraction of the baby. After we picked and washed some spinach for her, we moved on to another house. The next house was a little better but still kind of awkward. We came up to a young woman who was doing her laundry. We asked her if she could help but she didn't speak English very well so everything had to be translated. We helped a little with the laundry but it was weird because there were five of us and one of her. When she invited us in we saw that she had a baby, named Juni, who was nearly a year and a half. We talked to her quite a bit in the morning but it was a lot like an interrogation than a conversation because she didn't talk much except for saying yes and answering a few of our questions. There wasn't much bonding there. After talking with her we went back to the church that was our base for the day to eat lunch. After lunch we decided to go to a different house. This house was wonderful! We all bonded so well! There was a mother and her three daughters who were 14, 17, and 18 years old, as well as three other family members and a multitude of small children who followed after the "parade of Americans." We talked for a while about the difference in wedding traditions. They thought it was hilarious that the husband doesn't pay any money to the wife's mother for raising the child. They also thought it was funny that we thought they might still have arranged marriages. The conversation was very comfortable, and the girls all spoke English very well. They used bigger words than I could probably say. We played crazy eights and jump rope with them and taught them how to play go fish. I fell down while jump roping but I think that things like that are what make it easier to bond. It makes me look silly which in turn puts me on the same level as them. They made us orange tang juice and invited us to come back tomorrow.

I felt like it went well, until we were all in the car talking to Charlene. We told her how were were playing games with them and she said that it was ok but that that wasn't what our focus should be. I was aware that that wasn't our focus. I didn't come to South Africa to play games, but we're supposed to become friends with these people so that we can share Christ with them. How can I share Christ with them if they don't know me? Surely, they won't accept me or care to hear what I have to say. It was hard to hear that from Charlene because I thought we were doing such a good job of connecting with the people today. It was just really frustrating. I know that God will be stretching me a lot throughout this trip but I feel that Charlene was saying that what we were doing was wrong and seemed so right. I'm a little confused right now. I need a lot of prayer to be put out of my comfort zone and to thrive outside of it. I need so much of God's strength to be able to witness to these people. Sometimes I just don't know what to say, and when I think I am doing well, I hear that I am doing it all wrong. Am I doing it wrong or what? Please pray for me as I go out tomorrow.

I love you all!

About the Orphanage

2008-06-21T18:45:00.001-07:00

oday we went to the orphanage and I will try to get pics up soon but
it's really hard to get a computer that works well enough to upload
pictures without crashing. So anyway, the orphanage was amazing. My
favorite kids, as bad as that sounds, were named Lucky (boy) and
Samukelisiwe (pronounced Sam-kay-lee-see-way, girl). I think both of
them were 8. Sam could have been 10. They loved to curl up in my arms
and just sit there. We colored pictures and sang songs and just played
with them all day. It was wonderful. I felt so free and more open with
them than I am with anyone ever. I just didn't care anymore. It was
the first time I have ever felt so selfless, because in that situation
you not only have to be but you want to be. These kids don't have a
lot but they are so energetic and simple. All they want is love and to
laugh. It was wonderful. Probably one of the best days of my life. I
can't describe to you the look on their faces and how you just want to
hold them and never let go. They are so beautiful. They're dirty and
some of them have gross disgusting sores on their heads and faces, but
none of us cared. They gave us kisses our hands were dirty after
peeling oranges and not being able to wash sticky hangs. And yet we
gave them kisses and more hugs and piggy-back rides. Being their gave
me the biggest desire to come home and get married and have babies. So
if you know any men, it would be nice if you could start preparing
them now for my return. :] I'll be ready. :] Anyway, I have the most
intense desire to have children and to adopt children and be a mom. I
love kids. They're so beautiful.

Anyway, on a less emotional note: last night felt like family camp
because it was so windy. I didn't mind it because it felt like
camping, but everyone else said they were terrified. I did have a
dream about a zebra flying away in the wind though. Kind of funny. Oh
and I have seen zebra now! I also know the difference between
springbok, lechway, blesbok, fallow, blue wildebeest, and black
wildebeest. :] I got a tour today of the base right after we got home
from the orphanage and an adventure to an African grocery store. That
was also really exciting. Just so you know, the sky here is more
amazing than anything that you will ever see in your life. I will send
some pictures, that surprisingly, capture the sky wonderfully. I have
become increasingly captivated by the sky, and more specifically the
clouds. They stand out so much from the sky here in Africa. I'll try
to send you some pictures tomorrow because it's a free day all day. :]
Which is amazing! Oh! and someone just made coffee which is a
blessing, something that reminds me of home and that I really didn't
think I could miss this much.

I have to be going because we're having a 1/2 birthday costume party
for one of the 24/7 interns named Marc. I'll tell you about it later.

First Update from South Africa

2008-06-19T18:45:00.000-07:00

Dear Family in America,

I am sorry that it has taken a few days to respond to you, but I just
wanted to let you know how I am doing. I have arrived safely as have
all my team members! The travel was long but I'm fairly well adjusted
to the time difference and am starting to get into the routine of
things. This week is mostly orientation, learning what we will be
doing the next two months, and getting to know each other. I have been
greatly blessed with a very energetic and passionate team that is
ready to serve. I praise God for the girls in my cabin, as we are all
getting along very well. The people here have such a passion for
relationship evangelism and believe strongly that the best way to
share Christ's love is by befriending people and serving them.
Thrive's main purpose is not to create a revival but rather to
disciple people and teach them so that they may also be able to
disciple. The main church here in Qwa Qwa is called Zion Christian
Church. Although they call themselves Christians, they also believe in
ancestral worship and witchcraft. I will be going out into the
township of Qwa Qwa and exchanging lives with the people and sharing
with them that Jesus is the only One that they need. Please pray for
me and my team, as next week will be the first time that we go out to
ministry. Also, this Saturday, we will be heading to an orphanage to
play with children while the yearlong interns paint the orphanage. I
am very excited for this opportunity.

Just to give you an idea about the passion that my team has, we have
prayer once a week on Wednesday mornings. Yesterday, everyone liked it
so much, that we decided to wake up early before breakfast and pray
every morning. Also, last night we were planning on having a hoe-down
in honor one of our Texan team members, but when the music situation
didn't work out for that, we decided to just make it a worship night.
We prayed and worshiped for over an hour.

Throughout the orientation process, I have come to realize how much
God prepared me for this mission. There are many similarities between
the work that I am doing here and what we did last year in Rocky Boy,
Montana. The staff here at Thrive have informed us that the relational
work that we are doing in Qwa Qwa will not have a direct result that
we will be able to see while we are here. Instead, it will be help to
strengthen the relationship with Thrive and the Basotho people. Also,
although the natives of Rocky Boy and Qwa Qwa are very different, they
are similar in that they are both very cultural and attached to their
traditions. I am excited because I know that God has been preparing me
for this mission for a while now. Even last year, when I didn't know
what I was doing or why I was even going on that mission in Rocky Boy,
God had a plan for me and is now revealing more of that plan. Praise
God for his faithfulness! For he truly does have plans to prosper me
and to give me a hope and future. I can see all of it playing out
before me and it now becoming so real.

Lastly I wanted to share some things that I have learned. First of
all, this is something that Neil, the director of Thrive Africa, said
before our prayer time yesterday. He was talking about how Satan can
do absolutely nothing to stop the Holy Spirit from moving. When our
eyes are on Jesus, we cannot be moved. He can, however, tempt us with
physical needs that would have not have our atttention if we were
focused on Christ, but he tells us that we need them and makes us weak
by those physical things. It was a interesting to see and know that,
to know that Satan really can do nothing to God because God is so
powerful, and that God is our strength because when we look to him,
when he is with us, we cannot be shaken.

Another thing that I learned was during our worship time last night.
One of the girls in my group was talking about how all God did to
create the entire universe was breath. She commented on how easy it is
for us to breath and how we do it without even thinking. If that was
all God did to create the universe, then how much greater things can
he do in our lives when he constructs a perfect plan for us, when he
has said that he loves us above all creation. If we matter more to him
than all of the universe, and all he did was breath to create it, then
how much more can he do in our lives. I thought that was a really cool
picture of how great our God really is. How awesome is he!!!

Finally, I'm sorry I don't have a picture to send at this time, the
computer that I am using is not fast enough to be able to upload
pictures, but I will send them as soon as I can.

Thank you for your prayers! I will see you soon!

Modimo a o hlohonolofatse (God bless you),

Hannah Borcherdt

While I'm Away

2008-06-12T14:47:00.000-07:00

You can send me letters if you would like:

Hannah Borcherdt
c/o Thrive Africa
PO Box 965
Harrismith 9880
South Africa

Please note: letters can take 10-14 days and packages up to 4 weeks to be delivered. Also, if you send me a message or something, chances are I won't be able to respond, but I'll try my best to keep everyone updated!

You can always check out the Thrive Africa website for more information about what I'm doing and where I'm staying: thriveafrica.org

I will miss you guys!! See you in 2 months!!! (I will return on August 9 at 10:54 PM, for all you stalkers out there.)

Four. Quatro. Quatre. 4.

2008-06-10T17:48:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling very anxious right now. I'm ready to go and yet there is so much to do still! Thinking about going to South Africa makes me nervous. Thinking about all I have to do between now and Sunday makes me nervous. I just have so much to do as far as graduation and South Africa, and hardly any time to do it! Please pray for peace and strength as I come to my last 4 days in the States before heading out to serve in South Africa. FOUR DAYS! 4 days! ONLY 4 DAYS!!!

Financial Update

2008-05-29T10:50:00.000-07:00

I sent an email to Charlene who is the director of Thrive Africa and asked her what would happen if I did not have all the funds by the time we leave. This is the encouraging message she sent me:

"Just keep working on it and sending it in as you get it! If you don’t have all the money in by the time you leave, just have your folks or someone send it in as it comes in….that is fine. We need it to pay for things on this side, but it won’t be a deal breaker….tickets are bought and your name is on one…so we will see you here!!! Thank you for keeping me up to date! I appreciate it!"

Praise God for that! I will be going to Africa in 2 weeks and 2 days!!! :)

From the Global Missions Commitee

2008-05-22T10:51:00.000-07:00

I finally got an email from the missons committe today, but it was a lot more discouraging than I imagined it would be. In short, they will not be able to support me. I need a lot of prayer right now. I am so discouraged from this and the deadline is coming up so very quickly! It's only 23 days until I'm supposed to leave and I don't even have 1/2 of the money raised. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm so confused. I want to trust God in everything but it gets more difficult every day. Please, please, please, keep praying.

Update

2008-05-21T13:24:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was asked the quesiton, "Why are you going now?" The obvious answer is that I am just out of high school so it just makes sense because I don't have any big responsibilities. But that's not really why I want to go now. The honest answer is even more simple: I love missions. But along with that, I want my life to be filled with service to my Savior. Why wait? There is no better time than right now to live my life for Christ. I don't want to wait for a two week trip out of the country or a time that is convenient. Jesus said to pick up our cross and follow him. He said to let the dead bury their own dead. There is nothing that is telling me to wait a little while and then go. I want to live my life on a mission for Christ, so why not start now?

"Come, follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men." At once they left their nets and followed him. Matthew 4:19-20

When did they follow Jesus? AT ONCE. They did not wait. And neither shall I.

Africa Support Letter

2008-05-10T21:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

God has been tugging at my heart lately. If you have ever been tugged by God, you know that it is no escapable thing. I have known for a while now that I am supposed to be involved in missions but until recently only God knew where I was going. A few months ago, I began to pray, seeking whatever was God’s plan for my life, and more steadfastly, this summer. A friend told me about an organization called Thrive Africa, and I decided to check it out. When I got on the website and started reading, my heart leapt. I knew immediately that going to Africa was God’s plan for my summer.

In the days following, though, I began to doubt. I felt called to a 2 month internship in South Africa which is a very long time to be so far away from home with people I have yet to meet, not to mention, a rather large financial need. Throughout the following weeks God made it clear, as I had prayed for, that Africa was the right thing for me. There were countless references to Africa on a daily basis. My history class began studying Africa a couple days later, and the topic of traveling to Africa came up in my French class on that day as well. Pastor Boone even talked about a girl who was planning to serve in Africa in one of his sermons. And today, as I was talking to a woman while getting my tire fixed, and watching Oprah in the waiting room, she said to me, “Maybe they should just go to Africa.” It seemed like an ordinary comment, but to me, it was another nudge. Throughout the whole experience of seeking and applying for this internship, I have been assured by God in every way that this is where He wants me.

From June 16 – August 8, 2008 I will be staying at the Thrive Africa base, Eagle Mountain, near Harrismith, South Africa. The base is located on a 2,500 acre game reserve, which is shared with zebras, wildebeest, and African antelope. While in Africa, I will be helping to host mission teams, working with kids in an after-school program, evangelizing through relationships with the nationals, growing in my own relationship with Christ, and learning and experiencing a very different culture. I am excited to see how God will strengthen my faith and my trust in Him as well as teach me through the lives of other missionaries.

This will be a great experience but I cannot do it alone. I greatly need your support as I work to raise money for the trip. Please pray that I am able to trust God in every circumstance, that I may continue to grow in my relationship with Christ, and that my heart will remain open and ready no matter what direction God leads me. I need God’s strength as I will be far from home, becoming completely vulnerable to God’s plan and action. I also need financial support to participate in this trip. I need to raise $3850 for travel and provisions while in Africa, plus the cost of other necessities for preparing to go to Africa, traveling out of the country, and spending two months of my life living in Africa. I am doing service projects through the church and working part time to help fund the trip, but most of the money will come from donations and God’s faithful miracles. Whatever gift you have to offer will be greatly appreciated.

If you would like more information about the internship, please do not hesitate to contact me via e-mail, so.human@hotmail.com, call me, 425.218.7433, or visit www.ThriveAfrica.org to check out the Outreach Staff Internship. If you wish to help me financially, please know that all donations are tax-deductible and checks may be written to Thrive Africa (for tax deduction) or Hannah Borcherdt and sent to [23806 53rd Ave W, Mountlake Terrace, WA, 98043].Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for your prayers and consideration.

In the Family of Christ,

Hannah Borcherdt

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.”
At once they left their nets and followed him. _Matthew 4:19-20

The Mission

2008-05-08T18:44:00.000-07:00

“Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will make you fishers of men.” At once they left their nets and followed him. Matthew 4:19-20

I read a quote on the bottom of a bunkbed at Jr. High Retreat this year about God equipping the called, not calling the equipped. My simple thoughts were this:
I once heard that God doesn’t call the equipped but equips the called which is great since I am so incredibly unequipped and God is immensely faithful.

How ironic that this is Thrive Africa's missions statement:
It is the mission of Thrive Africa to equip and mobilize indigenous leaders to become effective, valuable, and projective influences in their cultural communities through evangelism, discipleship, leadership training, and mercy outreaches.

Finally, here is my personal missions statement that I created for my trip:
This summer, I will venture into God’s calling in order that I may know Jesus more, grow in Him ever longingly, and live out in the Love which I have so graciously been given.

Myspace Post

2008-05-03T13:25:00.000-07:00

I've been going through a long process of God calling on my heart and me doubting that it's really Him at the door. But through His strength and steps..or bounds rather... of faith, I found myself applying to an internship with an organization in South Africa called Thrive Africa. It was exhilarating just to talk about it. Then, just yesteday, everything changed. It became a different story, no longer the one about me wanting to go to Africa, but rather, a new story about how I'm saving up to go to Africa. Yeah, I definitely got accepted to go to South Africa. When? June 16, 2008. How long? 2 months. It's really scary, but it's happening and I have complete faith that God will carry me through this and that He alone can be my everlasting strength during this time. I need your prayers and a lot of support as I'm about to go to another CONTINENT this summer.

Anyway, much love to you all, and I thank you in advance for your support and prayers. I will post more later as I get more details and such.

PS In less than two months I'll be living with elephants and lions and giraffes (Oh my!) in my backyard!

It's Official

2008-05-02T23:32:00.000-07:00

I got the official email today letting me know that I have been accepted to the Outreach Staff Internship with Thrive Africa. I'm going to Africa?? I'm going to Africa. It's very scary and really really overwhelming because there is so much to do!!! Please pray for me A LOT as I need so much support and know that the only way that I'll be able to go is by the miracle of God's faithfulness. There is so much more to do that I had expected and it's starting to set in, and I don't even know where to begin to start! I'm trying to breath deeply but I'm nearly crying because I'm so excited and so thankful for God's faithfulness thus far.

Testimony for Africa Application

2008-04-11T21:02:00.000-07:00

I grew up in the church, living the epitome of the “church kid” life. I went to church nearly every Sunday of my life until my sophomore year of high school, when I transferred from the small private Christian school that I had gone to since kindergarten, to a big public school, a world of unknowns and great temptations.

Growing up in the church I knew a lot of facts about Christianity but I didn’t really get the personal relationship aspect of being a Christian. I can specifically remember a time in 8th grade during a chapel on Wednesday morning at my Christian school. We were supposed to find a prayer partner to pray for my friend’s mom who was dying of cancer. I turned to my other friend and asked, in much too perky of a tone, “Want to be my prayer buddy?” She looked at me with a confused and concerned look and said, “Don’t you know this is serious?” Up until that moment I thought my faith was serious. But it was then that I realized that I didn’t know how to talk to God. Prayer was a mechanical nuisance that I found myself repeating every morning at school, every day before meals, and every night before bed. I don’t think I really grasped the concept of prayer or understood that God was God. He was more of an idea that I had grown accustomed to believing rather than my Savior and my Best Friend.

Before freshman year had a chance to begin, I was part of the girl’s swim team at the public high school while I was still enrolled in and attending private school. I made friends on the team, perhaps the first people I ever knew who were not Christians. I was not very close to many people at the private school and so the public school was very enticing as I found myself growing in my relationships there. I began to hang out with my public school friends more and began to reject everything that was at the private school. I rejected what my parents and my teachers and administrators had to say and turned against them. I said that they were oppressing me and didn’t understand me. And in the middle of my sophomore year, I switched schools. I was scared and I thought it was wrong, but I told everyone it was what I wanted and that as of that moment, I believed it was what God wanted for me. But I never prayed about it. I didn’t know what God wanted with me. I stopped going to church and doubted God’s very existence more than I ever had before.I lived a worldly life, succumbing to the traits of people around me, picking up the bad habit of swearing, and living ever so selfishly in my own world of pleasing myself, lying if I had to, to keep everyone, including myself, believing the lie that I was doing just fine on my own.

By the grace of God and a lot of prayer from my church family, by the end of my junior year, I found my own faith that didn’t depend on my parents or my siblings or my friends. Around December-January of that year, I started struggling. I had fallen out of three or four really strong friendships, life wasn't going as I planned and everything was all messed up: friendships, church life, school life, I was no longer involved, I was no longer motivated, and I wasn't portraying myself as the person that I wanted to be. I really wanted to be walking with God, but I still couldn't make myself believe any of the things that I'd been taught for the first 16 years of my life, and I didn't have a clue how I was supposed to believe. I remember being on the track team and running with one of my friends. She is not a Christian and says she doesn’t believe in God but she did pray once and what she prayed for came true. And so she thought that if there was a God he must have answered her. I was frustrated about her hearing from God because I wanted so badly to hear from him and couldn’t. So, I did the one thing that had always worked for everyone else. I prayed. I remembered that he who seeks after God with all his heart will find God. So, whenever I felt alone or afraid, I prayed that God would let me see Him and not doubt and know that He is my Savior. Then one day I woke up and I believed. I don't know how or what happened, I just had this overwhelming feeling of desire to learn everything I could about Jesus Christ my Living Savior. Soon after I went up to my youth leader, Katie, and said that I wanted to be involved in the church again. I now attend her small group on Tuesday nights which keeps me going every week. I also attend church every Sunday morning and youth group on Sunday nights. I went on to be a part of a mission’s trip to Rocky Boy Indian Reservation near Box Elder, Montana last summer. I faced a lot of spiritual warfare while on the trip which greatly strengthened my relationship with God, especially during the ‘winter seasons’ of our relationship when it just seems hard. After the trip I felt called to be involved in a Bible study at my public high school. I am now an active member of the Bible study which meets after school.

One of my favorite aspects of my faith is learning to see God at work in places that seem impossible. For example, my high school, my work place (I work at a city pool.), and in other people’s lives. I have a friend at work who is Mormon and I had prayed for opportunities to share my faith with Him. As I was just about to leave work one day, the fire alarm went off and we all had to evacuate. We were waiting outside for the firemen to come and my friend asked me what I was planning to do after high school. I told him that at that time I didn’t know what I was going to do but that it would be ok because one thing that I had learned on the mission trip over the summer is that God already has it all worked out, and all I have to do is trust Him. Since then, he has asked me more questions about my faith and been open to discussions of faith and religion.

Over the summer, while on the mission’s trip in Rocky Boy, I felt a very strong call to be involved in a Bible study at school. I began to attend the Bible study after school, but it was very superficial. We hardly talked about God and our faith and the struggles of knowing Christ while being in a public high school. And so I prayed that for change in the group. I wanted to have a book to help the group stay focused, I wanted other people to join the group who had the same passion as me, and I wanted our group to pray together. For the longest time, there was no change and I began to get really discouraged. One day, the leader of the group said that she didn’t know what to do because she felt that the things we were going over in the group weren’t really satisfying. She asked for any ideas and I proposed the idea of the book. God gave me a perfect opportunity. He also brought two other people, Olivia and Nick, to the group who are strong Christians and Olivia told me later that she had also been praying that God would do something wonderful in the Bible study. Finally, that day, after we had discussed book topics, the leader of the group, asked if anyone would like to pray. No one said anything, so I got the opportunity to lead us in prayer. It was so wonderful to see God working in the Bible study and answering my prayer!

Through this experience in Africa, I hope to strengthen my trust in God through whatever circumstances I am given. It has already been a huge step of faith for me to become vulnerable to God’s plan for my life by applying for this internship. It’s really scary because I don’t know where God is taking me and I feel so very out of control of my life, more so than I have ever felt before. I also want to learn from other missionaries. I would love to learn from their lives, their prayer, their faith, and be able to see God work through them, and in my life. This summer I would like to strengthen my prayer life and my leadership abilities. I hope to become a better evangelist, learning how to be a witness for Christ. I feel that I could be a benefit to the program with the use of my photography skills, my love for kids, my creativity, and my service. I am more excited to see how God will use me, find out the new ways he chooses to mold me to be more like Him, and discover what he has been planning for my in Africa, my purpose for being there and what I will learn.

An Edmonds Kind of Day

2008-02-28T18:58:00.000-08:00

Today I was driving in Edmonds and noticed that it was an Edmonds kind of day. The sun was out, everyone was smiling, there were a lot of runners just enjoying the day. It was just Edmonds. That has nothing to do with this post, I just think that I really like Edmonds. It puts me in a good mood.
Anyway, while I was driving, I heard the song by Steven Curtis Chapman "Dive." I've never really paid much attention to the meaning of this song because it was just a fun song to sing when I was younger.

The long awaited rains
Have fallen hard upon the thirsty ground
And carved their way to where
The wild and rushing river can be found
And like the rains I have been carried here to where the river flows, yeah
My heart is racihng and my knee are weak
As I walk to the edge I know there is not turning back
Once my feet have left the ledge
And in the rush I hear a voice
That's telling me it's time to take the leap of faith
So here I go
I'm diving in, I'm going deep in over my head, I want to be
Caught in the rush, lost in the flow, in over my head, I want to go
The river's deep, the river's wide, the river's water is alive
So sink or swim, I'm diving in
There is a supernatural power
In this might river's flow
It can bring the dead to life
And it can fill an empty soul
And give a heart the only thing
Worth living and worth dying for, yeah
But we will never know the awesome power
Of the grace of God
Until we let ourselves get swept away
Into this holy flood
So if you'll take my hand
We'll close our eyes and count to three
And take the leap of faith
Come on let's go

I realized that this song is exactly my life right now with Africa. I "have been carried here to where the river flows." I just thought, God brought me here, so He will obviously carry me the rest of the way. Also it says "in the rush, I hear a voice, telling me to take a leap of faith." This is a huge thing for me, and it's hard because it takes so much faith. But later in the song it says "it can give a heart the only thing worth living and worth dying for. But we will never know the awesome power of the grace of God until we let ourselves get swept away into this holy flood." How cool is that? I will never know how amazing God will be in this situation until I just trust Him with my whole life. And I know I've said before that I want to give Him my life, how hypocritical would that be if now, with the opportunity to give it to Him, I back down because of the lack of faith? He said that it won't be easy to give it to Him but I need to just pick up my cross and do it, just follow Him. And it makes me so much more joyful because this is a hard decision and is taking a lot of faith and so I know that it is good. Because what is right is rarely easy.

Also, I know this is long, but I have one last thought. I heard the Veggie Tales song about The Belly of the Whale from the Jonah movie.
Anyway, it got me to thinking about how Jonah was given an opportunity to serve God but it was hard for him. When he ended up not doing what God asked, his life was unsatisfying because he didn't do what God wanted him to do. God never changes, so if Jonah could end up in a fish for not going to Ninevah, I sure could end up in a fish for not following God's will for my life!

Basically what I'm saying is, yes, it will be incredibly difficult to not go to family camp this summer. But if I stay here, when I'm like 99.9999997% positive that God wants me to go, it would be very unsatisfying to go to family camp and the summer that I thought would be incredible would not be so good if I stayed because I was unable to trust God. So yes I will miss out and it will be hard, but I will have the joy of the Lord because I will be serving and trusting Him, and if I stay, it will be disappointing and I will have wished that I had gone.

Tonight, I will talk to my mom some more, and hopefully I'll have a final decision about this soon!

Where It All Started

2008-02-21T18:34:00.000-08:00

Today God made my heart flutter and it really scares me. I think I know what I'm supposed to do this summer. Stefan sent me an email about some friends who do missions work in Africa. When I read it, my heart immediately felt the weirdest feeling of a mixture of fear and completion and joy and disappointment. Let me explain. There are 3 trips to Africa. One is for 2 weeks, one is a summer internship, and the other is a year long internship. I feel like I'm supposed to do the summer one. The fact that I would be gone for over a month in Africa with people I don't know, that's the fear part. The completion part is that I finally feel like this is either close or exactly what God wants me to do. I feel joy because I have that completion and I really like feeling God tug my heart. It just warms me up. But I feel a lot of disappointment because the dates of the internship are June 16 - August 8. For like the first time in my life I would miss family camp. On Tuesday I prayed with Amilyn and one of my prayers was that God would reveal to me what I am supposed do and that if it was during family camp, that He would give me the peace to be able to follow Him, even if it meant giving that up. The trip is $3,850 plus the cost of preparations and hopefully a little spending money, but I feel a lot like God wants this for me. I know the missions work would stretch me but it would be just right for me. We'd even get to go on a safari!!

Here is the link in case you guys want to know more about the possibility of my life this summer:
http://www.thriveafrica.org/getinvolved/summerinternship/